Sometimes, life is a beach...

Yes, I finally got to a beach this summer! I don't recall the name of this one; it was one that my uncle led us to, but it was a reasonably pleasant beach, if a bit too warm for my taste. I even got to dunk myself in the ocean, though, sadly, I didn't stay in long as it's kinda hard to relax and float there when you realize that you have to be on the lookout for roaming jellyfish. Still, it was a pleasant and relaxing day.

In other news, I finally made it to the third (and final) temple in Zuma after many repeated attempts (made very frustrating by coming 'this close' multiple times). Yay me!

Sadly, tomorrow will be spent counting trucks. Ugh.

PS: I apologize for the crappy quality of the photo; it was shot with my phone. Shots taken with it also sometimes include my finger (which this one appears to have the tip of). I used the phone because I wanted to text the photo to a bunch of my friends in the UK, but alas, I just don't have stable enough coverage to transmit the photo. Silly phone network.

The the impotence of proofreading

Another Taylor Mali classic:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjhOBiSk8 Gg

 The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com 

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D= )
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence. 

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey). 

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street. 

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be. 

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically. 

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

The Gift

I often tell a version of this Zen story to many of my pupils.  

From: http://users.rider.edu/~suler/zenstory/i nsults.html 

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.  

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.  

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.  

Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. "How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?"  

"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"

Love Eternal...

 To me, few songs speak more of love and devotion that this wonderful piece by the late, great Australian musician, Baterz:  

http://survivors.groups.vox.com/library/ audio/6a00c2251d31da604a00d09e670d95be2b .html 

(Sorry, no lyrics on hand; you'll just have to listen to the song.)

A sappily sentimental smiley moment...

Take a close look at the smilies below. Watch as one kisses the other: 

 

Note that at the moment of contact, the borderline opens and the yellow smiley happiness of one blends in with the yellow smiley happiness of the other; a kiss makes two smileys as one. 

Wouldn't it be cool if our kisses could do that? 

For all of you animal lovers... (Really good!)

 I do so love receiving heart warming tales of human and animal friendship, such as the following, in my e-mail box:  

In 1986, Mike Membre was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. 

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.  

The elephant seemed distressed, so Membre approached it very carefully.  

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.  

As carefully and as gently as he could, Membre worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. 

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. 

Membre stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Membre never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. 

Twenty years later, Membre was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. 

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Membre and his son Cantri were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Membre, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. 

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Membre couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. 

Membre summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. 

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Membre's legs and raised him high into the air and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

 

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Art of the Saber

This astounding short fan film, produced by the Ho Brothers, features a mix of light sabers, Hong Kong martial arts film action, great cinematography and a haunting soundtrack by Hans Zimmer. Prologued by the reading of an authentic Civil War letter, the story takes place in the deep woods of a nameless planet, where a young jedi confronts his destiny in the form of a Sith warrior.  

This is among the most amazing six minutes of film footage you will ever see!  

See it here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OPtXtHcc 2o

(It gives me goosebumps everytime I watch it!)