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the_vultureRight now, I'm trying to figure if I'm out of my mind for hitting the dating scene. About a couple of weeks after I finished my teaching practicum, I began doing the ole' internet dating service schtick. The silly thing is that I have no real idea where I will be in about two months time.Will I still be in Victoria? Will I be teaching overseas? I didn't think it would be much of an issue as I figured that anything I got involved in would begin with a fair amount of internet contact before getting serious. But, as it stands, I've already gone on two dates with one woman and I'm to do coffee with another. Granted, none of this serious... yet. Both of 'em know that there's a strong potential for my absence in the near future. Still, I can't help but question my wisdom.
At the same time, I'm also questioning whether or not I have truly learned to love without need. Wisdom would say to wait until I'm settled somewhere before looking for romance. Why am I so eager to fly in the face of that? Do I actually have a need for love?
I've a number of other dilemmas relating to my dating life. I've realized that I don't yet have a romantic attraction to the woman I'm dating. I wish I did; she's intelligent, artistic, and easy on the eyes. And she has enough interest in me to want to cook me dinner. I feel a bit guilty for not having any romantic attraction and I feel like an idiot for continuing with this in the hope that something will finally spark for me (after all, we're still just in the "getting-to-know-one-another" stage). I'm dreading the strong possibility that I will have to break it off. I've always been the one who's heart was broken, never the heart-breaker. This is NOT a pleasant turning of the tables!
As for the coffee date (which has yet to actually be set), I don't hold a great deal of hope for that. I haven't spoken much online with her, but there wasn't really any dynamic conversation when we have. I'm merely going on the chance that she's a much better conversationalist in RL.
Maybe I'd be able to be content with what I've got, if it wasn't for two others who have caught my interest. One is a Pagan from Ontario whose delightful writing style immediately had me enthralled (What is it about me and Pagans from Ontario? This will be the THIRD I've had romantic inclinations for.). The other is a former co-worker with whom I've had a number of pleasant conversations in the past and am now beginning to form a friendship with. Of course, I recognize that the likelihood of a romantic relationship occurring with either of these is pretty freaking slim: the former is, afterall, in Ontario and, as for the latter, if anything was to happen romantically, it would have already done so. It is not that I want to pursue these two instead of those I'm currently dating. Rather, they serve as a strong reminder that there are far better matches for me. Am I being picky? Maybe. But, at least I'm reassured that I'm not so desperate as to settle for anyone willing to have me. (grin!)
Am I being an idiot? I don't know. Any thoughts on the matter?
At the same time, I'm also questioning whether or not I have truly learned to love without need. Wisdom would say to wait until I'm settled somewhere before looking for romance. Why am I so eager to fly in the face of that? Do I actually have a need for love?
I've a number of other dilemmas relating to my dating life. I've realized that I don't yet have a romantic attraction to the woman I'm dating. I wish I did; she's intelligent, artistic, and easy on the eyes. And she has enough interest in me to want to cook me dinner. I feel a bit guilty for not having any romantic attraction and I feel like an idiot for continuing with this in the hope that something will finally spark for me (after all, we're still just in the "getting-to-know-one-another" stage). I'm dreading the strong possibility that I will have to break it off. I've always been the one who's heart was broken, never the heart-breaker. This is NOT a pleasant turning of the tables!
As for the coffee date (which has yet to actually be set), I don't hold a great deal of hope for that. I haven't spoken much online with her, but there wasn't really any dynamic conversation when we have. I'm merely going on the chance that she's a much better conversationalist in RL.
Maybe I'd be able to be content with what I've got, if it wasn't for two others who have caught my interest. One is a Pagan from Ontario whose delightful writing style immediately had me enthralled (What is it about me and Pagans from Ontario? This will be the THIRD I've had romantic inclinations for.). The other is a former co-worker with whom I've had a number of pleasant conversations in the past and am now beginning to form a friendship with. Of course, I recognize that the likelihood of a romantic relationship occurring with either of these is pretty freaking slim: the former is, afterall, in Ontario and, as for the latter, if anything was to happen romantically, it would have already done so. It is not that I want to pursue these two instead of those I'm currently dating. Rather, they serve as a strong reminder that there are far better matches for me. Am I being picky? Maybe. But, at least I'm reassured that I'm not so desperate as to settle for anyone willing to have me. (grin!)
Am I being an idiot? I don't know. Any thoughts on the matter?
